Divine Ambivalence
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A Review of Divine Misfortune, by A. Lee Martinez
“Hello. My name is Anubis. I like long walks on the beach, carrying departed souls into the underworld, and the cinema of Mr. Woody Allen.”
- Anubis’ Pantheon.com profile video
In a world where gods attend charity events and can be found on an online match site, Phil and Teri decide they’d better get a god if they want to improve their lives. When they decide on Luka/Lucky, raccoon god of fortune and prosperity, he expects to crash on their couch and things go downhill fast.
Similarly, what I thought of as a good premise didn’t turn out how I expected either. The style wasn’t my cup of tea. Some parts seemed more fitting for a movie than a book, like the image of Lucky pushing his sunglasses down to the end of his nose and grinning mischievously. I could clearly see it at the end of a cheesy trailer.
It has its moments. Most of these were not plot-related. Any event that was seemed so unrealistic I was thrown right out of the novel. For instance, mercenaries exchanging stupid arguments with their captives and each other instead of doing their job.
Characters who began as interesting, like goddess of tragedy and heartbreak Syph, quickly devolved into the equivalent of a mulish two-year-old. By the end of the book, there was an entire cast of metaphorical two-year-olds.
However, I did like how it doesn’t focus on Western gods (especially the ever popular Greek and Norse). Granted, except for Quetzalcoatl I had no idea who they were, but their appearance was satisfying nevertheless.
My guess? It wasn’t my style of humor. Others might have better luck.
My Rating (out of five stars)
★★
The Secret Country
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“‘A speaketh as one in thy books, eh, lad?’
Ted grinned. That much was true.”
Cousins Ted, Laura, Ruth, Ellen, and Patrick spend their summers playing the “Secret,” an invented game of kings and sorcery. Then they stumble into the real Secret Country, and are mistaken for the royal children. Now they must decide whether to play the game as written, or try to prevent regicide and war.
This is a fantastic start to the Secret Country trilogy, but I’m a sucker for hidden identities, political intrigue, and strange magic. It’s very easy to become attached to the characters, both the children and the inhabitants of the Secret Country.
The world is well-built, with layers of history and magic, far beyond the expectations of the main characters’ imaginings. You really get a sense that this world does exist, not just within the children’s fantasies. Strangely enough, perhaps because the children liked the plays and poems, the Secret Country inhabitants like to quote Shakespeare and poets, even though the literature doesn’t exist in their world.
The writing is well layered; each reading reveals something new. And there is a good blend of action and intrigue. One slight hiccup is that the main characters’ lengthy discussions on whether or not to stay can be a bit trying on re-reads.
If you enjoy unusual fantasies, check this out!
My Rating (out of five stars)
★★★★
The Lightning Quest
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A Review of The Lightning Thief, by Rick Riordan
“If you were a god, how would you like being called a myth, an old story to explain lightning? What if I told you, Perseus Jackson, that someday people would call you a myth…”
- Chiron
You know how in Greek mythology, the gods were always running around, hooking up with humans, and having demi-god children?
Well, that still happens today.
Percy Jackson is a modern day Greek hero, complete with divine gifts, difficult quests, and monstrous foes. In his first book, he is falsely accused of stealing Zeus’ master lightning bolt. So he takes up the not-so-small task of preventing World War III. (Quest conveniently summed up at the end of this post.)
This involves traveling across America where, naturally, all sorts of creatures from legend have taken up residence. He even delves into the Underworld. Orpheus has nothing on him! Luckily he’s got the help of two friends: Grover the satyr and Annabeth, daughter of Athena.
The characters are quirky and likable. The writing is humorous, but not over the top. I especially like hearing Percy’s thoughts on certain subjects, like blue food. And for you mythology buffs, it’s fun to figure out which character from Greek mythology has shown up now.
Definitely worth the read.
My Rating (out of five stars)
★★★★
““So let me get this straight,” I said. “I’m supposed to go to the Underworld and confront the Lord of the Dead.”
“Check,” Chiron said.
“Find the most powerful weapon in the universe.”
“Check.”
“And get it back to Olympus before the summer solstice, in ten days.”
“That’s about right.”
I looked at Grover, who gulped down the ace of hearts.
“Did I mention that Maine is very lovely this time of year?” he asked weakly.”
Learning Curves
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Good books can be an inspiration for your own writing; bad books can teach you what not to do.
The Once Upon a Time series, where various authors re-tell fairy tales, is a good idea. But it falls flat in execution. I read several of these books a few years ago, and wasn’t impressed. But I decided to try it again.
No offense to Cameron Dokey, but her writing was not my cup of tea. Below are some of the lessons I learned from reading two of her books.
- Don’t spend more than half the book leading up to the main plot. The main plot is Beauty and the Beast, but the Beast doesn’t show up until about 2/3 of the way through.
- Don’t hammer the theme into the readers. We got it the first time Ms. Dokey. Stop filling up pages with the same two ideas.
- Don’t squash all of the character development at the end of the book. Belle freaks out, runs home, suddenly realizes she’s in love with the Beast, runs back. Her realization should not be so cramped.
- Don’t squander a good premise. Belle says she’s not pretty, that her name is a contradiction. Keep it that way, see how it changes everything! Don’t go back on it and make her pretty anyway.
- Don’t make your main character awesome at everything. I could not name one flaw Mulan has, unless you count her unwillingness to follow traditional gender roles. That may be a flaw in her society, but not in the story; here it’s a strength.
- Don’t make your characters centuries ahead of their time. The prince way way too forward-thinking. It shot me right out of the story (not a good thing).
- Don’t make it too easy for your main character. The tension from Mulan comes from her disguise as a man and the fear she might be caught. When every other person knows she’s a girl (her nurse, her best friend, a general), and helps her get through the day, you lose all of that.
I never finished Wild Orchid. I love Mulan and her story, but this was too difficult to get through and enjoy.
What have you learned from bad writing?
Continuing my nod to Japanese influence in art, today’s post will promote the Manga Shakespeare series.
Hamlet is by far my favorite Shakespeare play, but I’ve always been disappointed in the interpretations I’ve seen. The Hamlet in my head is infinitely better than that of Kenneth Branagh, Mel Gibson, or even my university’s Shakespeare on the Lawn (although having Hamlet’s “words words words” be a copy of Hamlet was hilarious). But darn it if Manga Shakepeare’s version didn’t come close.
I picked up my Hamlet manga at the Globe Theatre (now how cool is that? Can’t believe they sold manga-version titles) and instantly fell in love. Sure it cuts out more text than I would like, but it’s a freaking manga. No way is the artist going to want to draw a picture for every page-long speech. It’s just not practical. And sure it’s futuristic, but look at him! He’s amazing!
I would love to read the other plays Manga Shakespeare offers, but my library only has Romeo and Juliet – another interpretation which deserves applause; I’ve never really liked Romeo and Juliet as characters, but the manga actually made me feel sorry for them at the end.
And when looking for the books at my used book store, I noticed they are part of a growing trend. Frankenstein and Dracula also have manga forms.
Who would have guessed that combining the classics with an accessible art form (i.e. manga or graphic novels) would actually get people to read them? *hint hint Jane Austen publishers*
The Stepsister Adventure
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A Review of The Stepsister Scheme, by Jim Hines “Sometimes the stories are wrong.”
- Talia
Ever wonder what happens to fairy tale princesses after their “happily ever afters?” This book gives us the answer: they kick butt.
Danielle (a.k.a. Cinderella) is happily married until her stepsister tries to kill her. Then she finds out her husband’s been kidnapped. She tags along with Talia (a.k.a. Sleeping Beauty), who uses her fairy gifts to perfect her skill at martial arts, and Snow [White], a sorceress specializing in mirror magic, to rescue her prince.
The action never stops, whether the princesses are snooping around Danielle’s old house for clues, or facing the newly-magically-endowed stepsisters in Fairytown. Definitely a book that’s hard to put down.
The characters are all well-developed, complete with dark pasts. If you’re expecting the Disney version of these princesses, think again. Their fairy tale backgrounds encompass all the original gory details, including Danielle’s stepmother chopping off parts of her daughter’s feet to fit into the glass slipper. As you can imagine, that’s bound to leave some emotional scars on our heroines and supporting characters.
The dialogue is a fun repartee. I especially enjoyed Danielle’s solutions when bargaining with tricksy fairies. And the bickering between Talia and Snow is a treat.
Without giving anything away, it’s safe to say that the final reveal of what’s really going on is a great twist to the story. Artfully done.
A random yet awesome find. Can’t wait to read the sequel!
My Rating (out of five stars)
★★★★
A Reliable Bore
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A Review of A Reliable Wife, by Robert Goolrick
“It was a road without end, a conversation with no point.” - A Reliable Wife
I think this quote accurately summarizes the novel. The story “arc” was more of a horizontal line. The tone of the writing was pretentious. I did not sympathize with any of the characters, unless considering them pathetic counts. In short, it was boring and depressing. If I hadn’t been reading it for a book club, I never would have finished it of my own accord.
It could have been good. The plot is that rich businessman Ralph Truitt places an ad for “a reliable wife” in the paper, and Catherine Land is the respondent he picks to marry. However, both of them have ulterior motives for marrying the other, and Catherine’s involves murder. Sounds exciting, right?
Wrong. Each of these pathetic characters is in a slump, which is understandable, but none of them – not a one – cares enough to try to get past it. Cue suicidal thoughts and memories of the “golden” past that was equally crappy and depressing, but had a nice gilded cover.
The piece of the story that really interested me (strangers placing/answering an ad and getting married) was a bit of a flop. The intrigue of the situation is moot if she’s planning to murder the man for his money and he’s using the woman to reconnect with his family. What was wrong with putting normal people in that sort of situation? Not “exciting” enough of a plot for you, Mr. Goolrick? And what, it would have killed you to put even one semi-happy person in your book?
Granted, the book is probably supposed to depress you. It’s probably supposed to suck the life out of you like a dementor’s kiss, with its endless void of despair and freezing Wisconsin-winter setting. Goolrick is probably making some very poignant statements on human frailty and sin.
But who wants to read that? It’s not cathartic. It doesn’t raise interesting questions. Perhaps we, the readers, are supposed to read it and think “Thank God my life isn’t that much of a dump heap.”
What a waste of $15. Save your money, time, and sanity, and skip this book.
My Rating (out of five stars)
★
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